Friday, November 22, 2013
You can let go now daddy
It's 2:20 am on an early Friday morning. I'm sitting quietly in the fluffy mat of my bathroom floor. As much as I enjoy writing I've never had the urge in the middle of my sleep and least of all during a dream. I can't explain the why I'm here then, simply writing. It could be because I'm thinking about him. His laughter is is echoing in my heart. His eyes are in my thoughts. The desire to hold him very closely has awaken me this early and left me wanting more. This man I write about has always been very strong. As I grew up in my eyes he could conquer and carry anything . His arms always brought security and comfort to me. I can still hear his voice, though I haven't heard it in a while I could recognize it anywhere. Its the voice of my father, my daddy, my friend. I cherish beautiful memories with you. Come to think of it I have so much of you in me ; the love for writing, nature, animals and an optimistic view of life. So many beautiful memories of you and today the Lord has granted me one more, a beautiful one indeed. I had the most beautiful dream I could ever ask for. My sister and I sat at a beautiful gathering , outdoors . There was a long table covered with fine food and drinks. There was many people around us all dressed in very fancy clothes. As my sister and I enjoyed the beautiful moonlight view and the garden setting my daddy walked up to our table. Happily and excited to see him we both stood up and greeted him with a hug. He responded the same with a smile on his face. But thru that smile I could feel something was wrong, he took us aside and asked if he could talk to us . We walked slowly with him thru the paths of flowers and shiny lights. He couldn't breath very well and he finally sat by a big stone and leaned against it. He was sweating a lot and his voice was low. He began by sayin, do you girls remember when you where little and you would sit in my lap, one on each side? Yeah we both answered. Can you girls sit here again? So we did, his hands on our hair and soft strokes back and forth. He continued saying, do you remember when you girls would play dolls?What I would give to buy you some beautiful dolls again and to watch the two of you playing with them again he softly laughed we all laughed for a moment. He went on to say, remember when we all went out and we didn't know where exactly we where going ?We simply knew we where going somewhere but that's exactly what made it exciting. He paused for a moment and stood quiet. He then said: I won't be here too long, I must go for now but I want you to know that we will go out on adventures again. I'll get you whatever toy you girls want, I'll watch you play dolls and ill let you sit on my lap. Please take care of your mother, tell her I love her. I will miss you girls and tell your brothers to behave and not get your mother upset. He began to breath very heavily and tears running down his cheeks kinda like mine right now. As he stood quiet my sister began to tell him how much she would miss him too. I then told him: Don't worry daddy we are gonna go together to buy some dolls, this time I want you to choose one for me. We'll play by your side and we'll sit in your lap. I embraced him tightly and as I faced the moon I prayed within my heart, my God give me strength for we need your grace. I looked at my daddy again his eyes closing and he still said ill see you girls soon then. Yes daddy we replied. I'll see you soon we will be together again. He said I love you my two little girls. His heavy breathing stopped, and his eyes shut. I turned to my sister and said: his time has come. He came to say goodbye. I woke up in tears and in much joy, I'm gonna see my daddy again! I wanna embrace him and I know that I will.